Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Not What I Planned

I frequently complain when something is not what I planned.  Really nothing is ever like I planned, and I should be grateful it!  I have a long history of things not going according to MY plans. Both big and small plans get interrupted. Let me explain just how my BIG life plans have been changed.  The how and why is unknown even to me, but I am happy they changed.

You see growing up I never saw myself getting married and having kids.  I was going to be a vet and that was all that mattered.  Even into college I didn't want kids; school is what mattered.  Though I frequently changed my end goal (equine specialty, oncology, theriogenology, mixed animal), it always started with getting into vet school, getting through vet school, and going through a residency.

Once I was in college I decided I did want to get married (Oh, look that wasn't what I planned). In fact, I met another ore-vet student and got engaged.  That ended when he cheated on me (didn't plan that either).  Yeah, I don't put up with that.  So I decided again I was better off on my own.  It was the middle of my third year, and I had just been accepted into vet school for the following fall. I didn't need a guy!

I decided it was time to do something I wanted to do, no matter how weird, and took a fencing class.  The kind of fencing you do with swords.  Then for some reason I decided to go to a tournament, very out of character for me.  In order to go I needed to join the fencing club.  I did, and that is where I met my husband.  I rode with him to the tournament and realized at that time I would marry him, it was a little, well very, weird (also not what I planned).

We started dating in May of that year, and I started vet school in August.  Still intent on getting through, but not as interested in spending the extra years in a residency (changing plans again).  It was still a possibility for sure, but 4 more years was already seeming like a long time.  At the end of my second year, Nathan and I got married.  It was literally the middle of finals week; I took a final the day after the wedding at 7 am.  By this point we had agreed on 2 kids at some point, but I needed to get through school first (seriously, what was I thinking; changing my mind again).

Of course when the thoughts of having kids came, the thoughts of a residency left completely.  I went through school and graduated just before our 2 year anniversary; I was so thankful to have completed this life long dream!  We had bought a house where we would be close to church, yet I would have room to look for a job.  There really weren't a lot of jobs open in the area, but somehow I found one.  A part-time one (not what I had planned). It really worked well though as I was wanting kids and this way I could just work part time while they were little.  We started trying to have kids.

2 years later, no kids (well, I know I didn't really want kids before, but now I did, so my plans weren't really working out).  After 2 and a half years of trying, we finally got pregnant and had a miscarriage.  I was devastated! Why couldn't anything work right?!?!

We quickly got pregnant again with Bria, and I quickly learned after she was born that I really didn't want to go back to work and leave her (WHAT????).  Of course student loans meant I had to continue working; which wasn't too bad because I did like my job.

Then she was joined by Nadia 15 months later.  At this point I decided I wanted more then 2 kids; I just wanted a few years before I had more (So now I went from 0 to more then 2; why even plan?).

Still working part time, the girls start getting older, and by the time Bria is 2 I am already dreading sending them to school.  This is when I start to think about homeschooling (Wasn't I going to work full time when they got in school?).  Then a surprise pregnancy right after Bria turns 3 which ends up being miscarriage number 2.  Of course I was upset again, but I decided it was still best not to try for any more kids yet.  However, I got another surprise  just a few months later that turned out to be Eli (Well he was a year earlier then I planned).

So somehow my plans have changed from no husband or kids just full-time work (which I am sure would have been very satisfying work) to a husband, 3 kids (at least), and a desire to homeschool (which I think would be more satisfying).  And these are just the MAJOR things that have changed! I have to say this is not what I planned, but I am happy God planned it for me. I really can't imagine life without Nathan or any of the kids.

How many of you have had interruptions to the like you planned? Have you found the good in God's plans?