I don’t do memes very often; they can be hard to answer without revealing too much (the old anonymity problem, yawn). But it has just occurred to me that I could start one. And as everyone seems to be in the doldrums at the moment, it might be a Service To Blogging. (Or not, if nobody fancies joining in. Worth a go anyway, I reckon, as I can’t think of anything else to write about.)
So here it is, with my answers: The Funeral Meme.
1. What kind of funeral will you have?
Humanist, i.e. non-religious. Unless my beliefs change before I die, which is always possible.
2. What music would you like at your funeral?
I’ve chosen three pieces. As people are coming in, I’d like an instrumental version of ‘Jesu Joy Of Man’s Desiring’ – it’s a delightful lilting tune and will please the Christian mourners. For the committal, I’d like the ‘Salva Me’ from Verdi’s Requiem, sung in Latin; to my mind, it’s the best musical evocation of people’s bewilderment in the face of death. (Yes, I know; two religious tunes. It’s about the music, OK?) And at the end, ‘Why Worry’ by Dire Straits, which sums it all up really: 'Why worry, there should be laughter after pain, there should be sunshine after rain, these things have always been the same so why worry now?'
3. If you could have anyone to speak your eulogy, who would you choose?
Stephen Fry. I don’t know him; I’ve never met him; I think he’d do a really good job.
4. If you could have anyone to play live music at your funeral, who would it be and what would they play or sing?
I’d have Karine Polwart to sing an unaccompanied lament.
5. Will there be a ‘do’ after your funeral and, if so, where and what kind?
I sincerely hope so. I’d like all my friends and family to get together at my house or a local pub, eat, drink, chat, cry, laugh and generally have a good time.
6. What’s the most unusual funeral wish you’ve ever heard, and did it come true?
A dear friend of mine says that at her committal, she wants everyone to be served with champagne, so they can drink a toast to her accompanied by ‘See What The Boys In The Back Room Will Have’ (scroll down for lyrics). She is, as far as I know, still very much alive, but I hope it comes true because it would suit her perfectly.
17 comments:
No embalming. No yuck in my guts. Bury me somewhere countrified under a tree to feed, in an unbleached pure cotton fairtrade sheet in a wicker basket. Naked. Clothes are pointless on the dead and I hate them.
There is to be no religion at my funeral, no mention of gods. A humanist funeral would suit.
Play 'Flushed Chest' by Joan As Policewoman, and 'Mysteries' from the album 'Out of Season' by Beth Gibbons and Rustin Man, and La Ritournelle by Sebastien Tellier.
A reading of The Fall of Rome by Auden by a specific close friend with a lovely reading voice. And the poem Prayer by Carol Anne Duffy, read by my partner.
No flowers. Just one bunch of freesias or sunflowers if it is felt necessary by the mourners. Donations to the Royal Marsden Hospital instead.
Play the Pogues loudly at my wake and ensure everyone slugs back a shot of whisky. I think really, a barn dance would be in order, with hay bales to sit on.
Anna
Oh fab, Zinnia, lovely meme - I'll put it in my list of blog posts to do because I haven't thought so much about it yet ...
I did your funeral meme Here. What an appropriate day for it, too.
What a peculiarly fabulous idea for a meme.
I love Karine Polwart... she'd be wonderfully plaintive.
I shall give this some thought. But, of course, you know we're all gonna say we need you to carry out our final lunacies? Actually, mmmmm, yes, planning it as a last, final indulgence is possibly the way to go, as it were.
Great idea. I will do it once I've had a think. And then send the link to the hubby.
What a fascinating meme and great fun, if I may say so! Think I will have a go if you don't mind. I shall do it on my blog though, probably next week. Thanks!
Sounds like your funeral will be a hoot!!
CJ xx
1. What kind of funeral will you have?
Cheapest possible, after all it's not about the disposal of my body, I will already have left. Humanist and FUN and it must smell nice, Yankee Candles Christmas Eve and no bought flowers, only sones from folks' gardens :)
2. What music would you like at your funeral?
Tom Cochrane; Life is a highway
Bruce Springsteen; The River
Jo Cocker; Unchain my heart
3. If you could have anyone to speak your eulogy, who would you choose?
Richard Burton, purely because he has the most beautiful voice in the world.
4. If you could have anyone to play live music at your funeral, who would it be and what would they play or sing?
Stevie Nicks; Long Way to Go
A beautiful lyracist with a stunning voice and a song with perfect sentiments.
5. Will there be a ‘do’ after your funeral and, if so, where and what kind?
I have already set aside money in my will for a mahoosive kness up, the only condition is that the mourners all help dispense of my ashes from the top of my favourite fell, Skiddaw first, they can get ther by any means they wish, I have put money by for a helicopter so the disabled/elderly can see the view, they can walk, cycle, drive (it is possible in a Land Rover my Dad and I did it when I was a kid). I have listed the wines I would like served, the gin for the G & T and the beer from our local brewery, Crag Rat by Jennings. The menu for the buffet is done and consists of all my favourite things! I want people to remember my hospitality and my love of entertaining even to the last and the good times we all had not the sad.
6. What’s the most unusual funeral wish you’ve ever heard, and did it come true?
My Grandmother requested "family only" at her daughter's - my Aunt- funeral. When my sister and I turned up we were turned away as my Grandmother forgot that we were family....
Jut popped in briefly but will be back. Those first few lines of Anna's are quite poetic and worthy of a song by Van Morrison.
I'd have Liza Minnelli singing "Cabaret" for that immortal line: "When I go, I'm going like Elsie!"
I don't like memes generally but I like that one. I might use it.
I don't know Salva mi but will try to remedy that. I've always fancied Purcell's 'Dido and Aeneas' when she sings 'Remember my name' Maybe that is a bit egotistical but it is my funeral.
I'm all for leaving money for a party and have already bought all the boys pale yellow ties to wear. I think 'Loch Lomond' - "me and my true love will never meet again' would be apt and I shall giggle on high, knowing it's not true.
I won't do this because I haven't given it much thought. Fascinating reading others' though.
I've had mine planned for a while. Saves others having to worry at the time.
1 - A druid funeral. The rite is already written.
2 - As people assemble Sandy Denny will be singing 'Who Knows Where The Time Goes'; as I'm buried Loreena Mckennit will sing 'Cymbeline' (her setting of Shakespeare's 'Fear no more the heat o' the sun...'; and to finish: Roy Harper singing 'The Same Old Rock'.
3 - No eulogy. Someone reading the passage from 'The Sword in the Stone' where the Wart pulls the sword from the stone would send me on my way very nicely.
4 - If there is to be live music, it would have to be afterwards. Hawkwind (who would have guessed). Full blast. Two hour set. Grand reunion line-up.
5 - The 'do' would be on the next decent day at the right time of year, a kind of memorial. A tree to be planted for each year of my life followed by a picnic.
What a brilliant idea and it's stirred up some fascinating responses - I've already got as far as making sure there's a copy of the Isley Brothers' 'Harvest for the World' at the ready but I'll give the rest of it some thought (with a much loved relative on the way out I've been quite engaged by death lately - thought not perhaps as much as you!).
PS I've signed up for OU215 - since you were kind enough to express an interest in it.
Haven't come across that "See what the boys..." song before. I like the lyrics.
I don't have any definite plans or ideas about my funeral. But I know I don't want it to be religious, think cremation is more sensible than burial and don't care enough to insist on a grave (although I do like the idea), would like it to be a celebration of my life and for everyone to have fun and get drunk, and for everyone who wants to have a chance to speak or sing or somehow do their bit, but really funerals are for those left behind, not the one who has died. So I think the main decisions should be made by my survivors, and I don't want to make too many stipulations as I don't want to cause any difficulties for whoever has the job of organising it.
To be honest, I hope I don't die until I'm 120 years old, in which case there will probably be nobody left to care much, and it will be a very quiet low-key affair.
I remember saying to my mother a few years ago that when I die, I want my ashes to be scattered in a poppy field somewhere. She nodded and said she'd make sure that happened. My step-father looked a little perplexed and asked her why she thought she would die after me. She said she has no inclination of dying before everyone else has gone as she'd hate to miss anything.
Anna, that sounds great!
JJ: I'll look forward to reading it.
Rachel: thanks
Jen: can't do my friends, sorry ;-) (makes mental note - must blog about that sometime)
B, CJ: thank you, I'll keep an eye out
Anonymous: that sounds great too, but I'm sorry to hear what happened at your Grandmother's funeral, ouch, that must have been horrible.
Daphne: I am honoured - I didn't know you read my blog - I shall try to return the compliment.
Pat: I don't think Dido's Lament is too egotistical at all, it's a beautiful evocation of loss.
Liane: it is, isn't it?
Graeme: I would have guessed! I would, I would!
Chris: best of luck with A215
Clare: I know what you mean about not wanting to die until I'm 120 - but then I don't want to outlive ALL my friends and family - tricky one, that. Lucky we don't get to choose, really.
Debs: I think that's hilarious! A bit like my nephew who announced, at around the age of 10, that I could do his funeral, and was rather put out when the likely realities were explained to him.
Come on this very belatedly. Lovely post. Won't answer all of it (the meme. But have told my kids I want a) Dido's lament and b) the Rolling Stones singing 'Get off my cloud.'
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